My Thoughts on Bullying, a Personal Experience.

I know what many of you are thinking in your heads after reading this tittle, at least I think I do. It's what I would think too. 'Bullying! People make such a big deal of it. Those who are bullied are just kids who don't have the courage to stand up to others!' Let me teach you all a lesson. I'm not someone who is going to tell you what's right and what's wrong. I'm simply here to look at both sides of a story. First I want to tell you a personal experience that is still in my head to this day.

All of it started when I was only in the first grade. I was the smallest, shyest girl in the whole school, possibly because of the fact I have never actually had a chance to interact with other kids before. I didn't go to kindergarten/preschool  and was isolated, living at my families' country house. I was never liked. For no good reason, the other girls never seemed to be interested in the kind of friendship I had to offer. Without an explanation, they all hated me. I was pushed, shoved, yelled at. I never stood up to anyone simply because I was already convinced so much that people don't want me. 

When you bully, you hurt. Bullying is meant to be hurtful. Now you tell me, if I am so worthless, then why do YOU waste YOUR time on me? Because I annoy you? That would have been my answer. This takes me to the part where I confess that I have bullied as well.

Moving to my new school two years later, I slowly recovered from the terrible experience. Only a year later, I started my revenge. Though I did not know so then, it was revenge. At only 9 years old, I started physically and emotionally hurting people. I could go up to someone and and tell them that they are an ugly piece of sh!t who will never be happy. I could go up to a first grader and shove him into another kid. 

I treated others the way I was treated, until one day, I thought. 'An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind' -Ghandi. What if after I did all those terrible things, someone else would do even worse things to me? Yes, I'm a bad person. I brought pain and sufferings to many children, but was it really my fault? I wasn't the one who started it all! Think twice about your actions. A minor slur might just ruin someone else's life. Those girls made my first grade experience a living hell. I literally came home every single day crying, and at times I didn't even think I deserved to live. 

Remember, suicide is never the answer. Every day is a gift and you know it.

Have you been bullied? Feel free to tell me in the comments, I'll even make a post about you if you do so.

Have you ever bullied someone? Are you sorry?

Hope I didn't bore all of you. xx

Kisses,

~Lulla96